I Can Feel Your Presents

I’ve just bought a birthday present for my brother in law. This is usually fairly challenging. He’s the kind of man who has everything and, more infuriatingly, already has somewhere to put it. This year, though, my customary online search for inspiration was even trickier than usual. All the options seemed to be for days out, which for some reason are spectacularly cheap at the moment.

Buying a present for someone is a tricky balance. You want to get something they want, but not something they could buy themselves (and probably already have). Food is often a good choice but does somewhat lack the personal touch.
Recipient: “Oh, you know me so well.”
Me: “Yes, I know that you consume food and water on a regular basis. I believe that’s what makes you distinct as an individual.”

Clothes can be more personal, but require a little too much judgement on someone’s taste. They also require you to know someone’s size which requires either an awkward conversation or going through someone’s underwear drawers. Guessing is not an option. No-one wants to have to work out if they’re unwrapping a jumper or a tent.

I’ve had some success with books in the past. Those can be made especially personal. There’s only so many times you can buy someone a book about things that happened in the year they were born, though, and as for the ‘search-and-replace / your-name-as-the-hero’ books – well, I got a great response for A Tale of Two Cities, but a rather more lukewarm one for Bridget Jones’ Diary.

The tactic I’ve always encouraged in others is Birthday Lists. The birthday boy (or girl) writes down everything they would like for their birthday, and then everyone picks an item off the list and buys it for them. Sue and I are divided in opinion on this. I see it as immensely practical and timesaving. She sees it as basically asking people to give you stuff. I’ve tried pointing out that without the list, you’re still expecting presents, but with the added game of ‘guess what I’m thinking of’. This doesn’t turn out to be the debate winner I was hoping it would be.

In the end, though, it is better to give than to receive. It allows you to really think about your friends and family, to think about what they like, what they dislike, what makes them smile. Receiving just means unwrapping yet another pair of socks. Giving means picking something that someone not only wants, but really, really needs. Which is why I’m particularly proud of the present I’ve bought my brother in law this year.

I just hope he likes pasta and a years supply of toilet roll.