Three Men On Tour: 37

The bar was pretty empty. A lone barman, and one lone drinker in the corner who didn’t even look up at our arrival. Elspeth walked straight to a pair of stools at the counter and signalled to the barman with a nod of her head. He didn’t even ask her what she wanted. It seemed easy to guess where she had been hiding before dinner, so I gave my order while Elspeth and the barman both stared at me in cold disapproval. Eventually the barman left to pour my cider and Elspeth remained, the thoughtful drumming of her nails upon the bartop punctuating the silence.

“She doesn’t deserve you,“ she said finally. I started to reply, then stopped as the barman brought over our drinks. I waited while he placed them in front of us, and gave him my room number for the tab. Then I turned back to Elspeth.

“Nobody deserves me,“ I pointed out. “I’m too cruel and unusual a punishment.“

“But she proposed to you?“

“She did,“ I confirmed.

“And then let you go off on a lad’s holiday before you’d given her an answer.“

“To be fair, I think she’d kind of assumed the answer was yes.“

“But she assumed that. You didn’t actually say yes, did you?“

“No.“

“She doesn’t deserve you.“

I sighed. It was dark in the bar, the kind of dimmed lights that’s supposed to make it atmospheric but actually just makes you squint. Still, I could see enough of Elspeth to realise how pretty she was. Pretty like Alicia had been before life had replaced her joie de vivre with constant snipes about the next tax return. Elspeth caught my expression and sighed.

“Look, I’ll lay my cards on the table here. I kind of fancy you. Kind of fancy you in the ‘maybe I just want to mess around, or maybe there’s something more’ kind of way, and if you were single that wouldn’t bother me. But you’re not. And I’m kind of pissed off that you didn’t tell me you weren’t available before I got myself interested in another guy who was either gay, a jerk, or married.“

“I never said I was single.“

“No, you didn’t,“ mused Elspeth and she pierced me with her green eyes, “but you didn’t say you weren’t either and I’m wondering if there was a reason for that.“

I started to speak but Elspeth shushed me, drained her vodka and coke and ordered another. I wondered how many she’d had between running out of my room and coming down to dinner.

“Maybe I was misreading the signals,“ Elspeth said thoughtfully, not looking at me, watching the barman mixing her simplistic cocktail. “Maybe you chat to strange women in bars all the time and mean nothing by it. But I reckon you wouldn’t still be talking to me if there wasn’t a part of you that wanted to be with me rather than her.“

“I only just met you.“

“And look how much fun we’re having.“ As the drink arrived, Elspeth grasped it like a lifeline and took a long swig, pausing only to take a tissue from her pocket and attempt to clean up the tear smeared mascara around her eyes. “The thing is, I reckon you’ve been stuck with your girl for years and you’ve gotten to the point where you wouldn’t quite recognise yourself without her. It’d be like shaving your hair off to lose her and the thought frankly terrifies you. But you know, sometimes you get that shave and you find the look quite suits you – like there was a beautiful head under all that tangle. I can’t force you to be with me. But I reckon you need a haircut.“

Emphasising her statement by banging down her now empty glass, Elspeth stood unsteadily and faced me. “I’ll be in room 203.” She paused, grabbed a pen from the bar and wrote the number on a beermat for emphasis, shoving it into my hand when I looked reluctant to take it. “You can either come and find me or spend the rest of your life wondering.“

With a flourish, she half sashayed, half stumbled towards the exit. As she reached the light flooding in from the lobby, she paused and glanced over her shoulder at me.

“Hell,“ she said with a smile, “maybe I’ll even come and find you. I know what room you’re in after all.“

Then she was gone and I was left with a memory of bright green eyes, and jasmine perfume.