Three Men On Tour: 14

We arrived into Bristol far faster than I would have expected. One moment, George was working on a clue for “mistlethrush“, I was seeking wisdom in pastureland, and Harry was gently drooling onto his tie; the next, hedgerows were turning back to houses and the crackling speaker was announcing five minutes to Temple Mead. I glanced meaningfully at George who nudged Harry. This was always a tricky affair. Harry sat up sharply with a muffled cry of ‘…and a herring’ before catching himself and looking at us accusingly. Both George and I busied ourselves with bags, hid our smiles, and tried to pretend he had not been in need of awakening.

“So,“ said Harry, pausing only to discreetly wipe away the drool, “the adventure begins.“

We stepped off the train and onto a platform bereft, to our London eyes, of people. Scattered groups stood around, to be sure, but no-one pushed past us, no-one seemed desperate to get onto the train before we had left it, no-one stepped around us simultaneously giving us dirty looks and avoiding eye contact. I was even able to heft my rucksack without knocking over a dozen French tourists. I merely blind sided George, who smiled thinly and gently pushed the bag away. A thin mist was drifting up the track as the day struggled to wipe the sleep from its eyes. We had set off early – Harry’s insistence – and for once I was impressed with his timing. Late enough to miss the Bristol rush hour, but early enough that we still had the whole day ahead of us.

“Right, first things first,“ said Harry. “Let’s pick up the car, and stow our luggage in the boot. Then we’ll have an explore.“

“Shouldn’t we check in to the hotel first?“ asked George.

“Check in’s not until after three. Plenty of time for us to take in the sights, have a spot of lunch, and maybe even find a pub.“

“Or perhaps a cream tea,“ said George who wasn’t much of a drinker. Personally, I was happy with either. We were away, free from London, free from work, free – for the moment – from momentous decisions. It occurred to me that I hadn’t escaped any of them – they would all be waiting for me when I got back and, if anything, the short time away would make them even more difficult to deal with. I decided not to let it worry me. That was a problem for future Ian.

The walk to the car hire turned out to be slightly longer than Harry had led us to believe. When we finally got there, lugging our suitcases behind, sweating slightly in the morning chill, it was hard to hide the disappointment. I had become more and more worried as the streets became grubbier, the graffiti more prominent, and the squat building in front of us, which had clearly been used more frequently as a tramps toilet than a place of business, did not inspire any form of confidence.

“Don’t worry,“ said Harry, spotting our discomfort, “it doesn’t look much, but that just makes it easier to get a good deal. I’ve already spoken to them, and not only are we going to be cruising around the Cotswolds in an ambassadorial style limo, top of the range music system, with full climate control, they’ve even thrown in a Sat-Nav for free.“

George’s head popped up at this. “I’m not sure we need a Sat-Nav,“ he said doubtfully. George is not one to speak out. For him these were strong words.

“Of course we need a Sat-Nav,“ bustled Harry, “how else are we going to find our way around?“

“I brought a map.“

To be honest, that clinched it for me. I had a fleeting image of touring the countryside: George in the passenger seat, map spread out to obscure the windscreen like a low brow sit-com; Harry alternately cursing and ignoring him. In my mind’s eye the map was upside down.

“Get the Sat-Nav,“ I muttered to Harry.

Harry wasn’t gone long. When he came back, he was grinning.

“They gave me another discount,“ he explained. “And an upgrade. Get in. The Harry Harrier strikes again.“

He handed me the key he had been given, then examined a small piece of paper with a map of the yard, and a number underlined and highlighted. As one we turned to face the parking space indicated.

“Maybe the map’s wrong,“ suggested George.

“I didn’t know you could still get those,“ I said wistfully

“Right,“ said Harry turning on his heel and heading back to the office. George and I looked at each other. Then I opened the boot and we began loading up the luggage.