Three Men On Tour: 25

Dinner passed otherwise without incident. Harry made a show of ordering the best wine on the menu, and we made a show of appreciating it. Then, after dinner, I mentioned the free bar at the hotel.

“Sneaking in?“ said George in shocked disapproval. “I’m not sure that’s allowed.“

“Of course it’s not allowed. Otherwise it wouldn’t be sneaking in,“ growled Harry crossly.

“Come on, George,“ I told him. “It’ll be fine. We go in, get one free drink to start off the evening, then head into Bristol for the evening proper. They always over cater for these things anyway. No harm, no foul, right?“

“I don’t know,“ muttered George, but I could tell he was keen to be persuaded.

—

It took about 30 minutes to persuade George. To be precise, it took exactly the time it took for us to go to our rooms, get changed, come down again, and for George to say ‘Oh go on then. What harm can it do’.

As we approached the entrance to the bar area I began to wonder whether George had been right in the first place. The guy on the door was huge. He towered over even Harry. We all made a show of patting our pockets, looking for the passes that we knew weren’t there. The bouncer eyed us sceptically.

“You know what I think?“ the bouncer rumbled menacingly.

“No,“ we squeaked in unison.

“I think you left your passes in your room because you didn’t think you’d need them.“ The bouncer gave us a conspiratorial wink. “I know what it’s like. Desperate to get to the free bar. Last thing you want, having to track down some ruddy bit of laminate, isn’t it?“

“Any chance you could let us in without them?“ asked Harry.

The bouncer shook his head. “More than my job’s worth isn’t it. You’ll just have to pop up to your rooms and get them. They’ll be in the conference pack you got when you booked in.“

We looked at each other. There didn’t seem to be many options.

“Come on then,“ I said. “Let’s go get our passes.“ We headed glumly towards the elevators.

“Don’t worry,“ the bouncer called out afterwards. “There’ll still be plenty to drink when you get back down.“

“Right. Change of plan,“ said Harry once we were in the elevator. “Either we need to find another way in or we need to steal some passes.“

“Do you even know what this is a conference for?“ asked George.

“Does it matter?“

“What if someone asks us something?“

“It’s a free bar, not mastermind. No-one’s going to playing twenty questions with us.“

“Alright,“ agreed George. “So how do we get in?“

“We could pose as waiters,“ I suggested. That got me the look of contempt it deserved.

“We need to borrow some passes,“ said Harry. “There’s bound to be people who haven’t checked in yet. We just need to work out where they’re keeping the conference packs.“

“We can’t just steal someone’s badge,“ protested George looking terrified at prospect.

“Borrow,“ repeated Harry. “We’ll put it back at the end of the evening and nobody will be any the wiser.“

“I still think we’d be better off dressing up as waiters,“ I complained.

“You can play dress up if you like,“ Harry said, “but I’m pretty certain they’ll notice if the waiters start necking all the champagne. No. We stick with the plan.“

“And we’re just going to stay for one, right?“ chipped in George.